Boys Will Be Men
Train, lead, direct, instruct, point, instruct, educate, mentor your child in the way he should go, and when he is old and no longer “cute”, he will not depart or turn away from it. —Proverbs 22:6 (version mine)
While there are many myths when it comes to raising boys, there is one in particular that is extremely dangerous. It is a common cultural acceptance labeled as “normal” and “okay” in our generation, but in reality it is very destructive for the child as well as for the family as a whole. What is this deceitful myth? None other than this: “Boys will be boys”.
Have you ever seen a misbehaving boy being mischievous, dishonorable, rude, disrespectful or destructive while the parent “scores” it as O well, you know that; “Boys will be boys”. This cultural acceptance or mental state of the parent to allow this kind of behavior is nothing less than giving their son a license to behave in any manner that he feels like no matter how wrong or destructive to himself or towards others. With this “mind-set” as parents we are teaching our sons that they do not have to be accountable to any morals or ethical norms. By our ignorance we convey the message that they can do whatever they wish, in any way, to whoever, whenever and “chalk it” their inner best of being a “male”. We are enabling our sons to think and believe that the rules apply to everyone else except to them, what a tragedy this is.
The dangerously ignorant and culturally accepted phrase, “Boys will be boys” is a self-destructive myth in and of itself because in reality without a shadow of a doubt, all boys, each and every one of them will either grow up in age only into “bigger boys” or into “mature men”. Therefore the correct frame of mind for parenting boys is, “Boys will be Men” so we must seize every opportunity we have to ensure their character is developed in the right way. With this great responsibility entrusted to us men by God, we have no time to waste.
Fathers, men, please lend me your hearts. Without discipline and correction in love and truth according to God’s Word, we might as well hand our sons a loaded gun and turn them loose. If our sons are not taught at their tender young age to be boys of character, they will be as dangerous as runaway trains headed for the edge of a cliff. Fathers the days of using the “Boys will be boys” phrase as an excuse to negate or ignore your responsibility and the “putting-in” or your time to raise your sons as young men of character is over. as you read this, you are no longer ignorant of the reality that God has challenged you with.
Now please do not misunderstand me, I am not endorsing punishment which is done in anger and often leads to physical, emotional or mental abuse. I am advocating what God does, “Parents instruct the child in the way he should go”. Your cute little son who you are allowing and enabling to get away with every disobedient attitude and behavior will not stay “cute” for long. That child will grow up and so will his “out of control” behaviors if they were not checked when you had the chance. Now is the time to begin disciplining, loving, teaching and instructing your son by modeling the epitome of manhood and fatherhood Who is none other than Christ. Your sons need to see you making, decisions, choices and living how they should and that life must be modeled after the character and life of the ultimate Man and Father expressed in and through the Person of Jesus Christ.
To me, “Boys will be boys” is almost like turning a blind-eye to the mischief or trouble that is caused. As fathers, we should be leading by example. Our sons look up to us and we need to “do as I do”, not simply “do as I say”.
You’ve hit the proverbial nail on the head Debut Dad. Thank you for your comment.