When God Rewrites Your Story

“He will redeem their life from oppression and violence: and precious shall be their blood in his sight.” -Psalm 72:14

In 1979 God spared me from the grave. My rough road would’ve ended, but I was given a second chance. In my struggles with bi-polar disorder being a mother was one of the hardest struggles I have had to endure. When you are in the valley you feel very alone and so depressed it does not matter who is relying on you to take care of them. It is all about the depression and the anguish and despair you feel. You feel like there is no hope and you want to die.

My bi-polar disorder was first diagnosed as postpartum depression. As a young mother I did not even know how to care for my child and was scared. I thought I was going to drop her or hurt her some how. The doctors took this the wrong way and were closely watching me for any signs of child abuse.

I felt lost and I was hundreds of miles from my family and my husband’s family was even further away. As my daughter was growing I was in and out of the hospital a lot especially her first five years and these were her formative years.

As time went on there were many struggles. In 1985 they discovered it was bi-polar disorder. Still I would average a hospitalization once a year until Sarah my daughter was eight.

My biggest problem was anger. Because of this anger I lost my marriage and the fact that my illness was so serious that my husband could not deal with it anymore. We were married for twenty-four years. When we divorced I grieved greatly. They say it is like losing someone in death. Trust me it is.

Now here is the good part. This is where God rewrites my story. I had to start all over on my own. I spent a lot of time alone and coming to my Lord for His help. I would go to Him in prayer many hours a day and study His word. What happened next transformed my life. As I continued to submit to God and His Word, He took away that demon called “anger”. A lot of other beautiful things started to take place. I got a second chance with my daughter! Many of the wounds have healed, by the grace of God and His great love. In God sparing me from the grave both physically and emotionally I was able to watch my daughter grow up to be the beautiful woman of God that she is. I am also a “Nana” and I am watching my grandchildren grow as God’s children. I love the way that God through His great love and forgiveness has re-written and continues to re-write my life’s story as a beautiful  story which I’m sure will have an ending only /He alone can write.

 

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